


I See You Made It

by thewayaround



Category: The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Hopeful Ending, Light Angst, M/M, Post-Canon, Referenced Smut, but they love each other - Freeform, they aren't together when this starts, they're both hard headed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-29
Updated: 2019-03-29
Packaged: 2019-12-26 09:01:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18279968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewayaround/pseuds/thewayaround
Summary: Kevin was still smiling, and it didn't ease Connor the same way it used to. Instead, he just felt sick, because after what he did Kevin should not be smiling at him like that."So," the brunette said softly, looking around the theatre and giving Connor time to breathe, "I see you made it."Connor tore his eyes away from Kevin to look around himself. The set from the final scene had been moved into the wings and replaced with the set for the beginning of the show. The house lights were still brought up, all the seats turned up about save the few broken ones in the balcony. It had always been his dream to be here, even when he tried to suppress it as a teenager."I did," he said in response to Kevin, a smile on his face as he turned back to face the man in front of him, and oh my God. Kevin was watching him the way he did all those years ago in Uganda, like he was something precious.





	I See You Made It

**Author's Note:**

> I have a second part written for this, but I'm not sure if I should upload it or not. I guess it depends on what you guys think.

It had been almost three years since Connor McKinley -- the previous leader of Ugandan Mission District Nine -- had seen Kevin Price. They had made their separate ways at the bus station, Kevin's nimble fingers repeatedly straightening Connor's favorite blue tie until Connor finally had to place his suitcase in the dirt and pull Kevin's shaking hands into his own. 

_"We both knew this wasn't going to last," he told him softly, and Kevin nodded, tears pooling in his eyes as he gripped tightly to Connor's hands. Chris had walked away to give them some privacy, talking quietly to James Church as they walked a distance down the road, holding his own suitcase tightly._

_"I know," Kevin whispered, closing his eyes and pulling their hands to his chest. "I just wish we had more time."_

_I do, too, Connor thought, but he didn't say that. No, his mouth seemed to form the words for him, not even consulting his brain before they were moving again. "You know that isn't possible."_

_Kevin laughed harshly, shaking his head as he said, "There are so many things in our life that aren't possible. We've lived our entire lives surrounded by impossible things." He paused long enough to take in a shuddering breath. "Why does this have to hurt so much more than any of the other things we've faced? Why can't this be possible?"_

_Connor felt like the world was crumbling as he tried pulling his hands from Kevin's only to have them trapped in place. He eyes ran over Kevin, those beautiful browns still closed tightly and the muscles of his face tense, his hands trembling where they held Connor's against his chest, almost like he was trying to pull Connor into him. He tried loosening his hands again only to have them gripped impossibly tighter. He needed to stop this. He needed to make sure Kevin would stop feeling like this, like he was losing something precious. Connor wasn't precious. He couldn't be, not for Kevin Price. "You know why, Elder," Connor said, the words physically hurting him as he spoke because god they were so wrong, and Kevin jerked as though he had been punched. His eyes opened and he stared at Connor in hurt and shock._

_"Connor, what are you--"_

_"Don't," Connor interrupted, finally able to pull his hands free in Kevin's shock, and it wasn't right. It felt so unnatural to not have Kevin's hands in his, but he didn't know any other way to stop this. "This is wrong, Elder. It's against Heavenly Father's will; it's against everything we've been taught."_

_Kevin gaped at him. "I thought we were passed this," he whispered. "What happened to not turning it off anymore, Connor?"__

_"I was wrong," Connor mumbled, then cleared his throat and squared his shoulders despite the exhaustion in him that just wanted him to fall forward into Kevin Price's arms. "We were all wrong. We turned our back on the Lord, and for that we were wrong."_

_Kevin frowned and took a step back. "I can't believe what you're saying," he spat, and Connor had to refrain from reaching for him desperately. "After everything we've been through, everything we've done, you seriously can't believe that." Connor didn't speak, just kept the words he wanted to say choked back. He had to spare Kevin the pain of being with him. He just had to. "Please tell me you don't believe that, Connor."_

_"Elder McKinley, please," Connor told him, but oh god how he wanted to keep hearing Kevin say his name. The bus seemed to use that exact moment to pull around the corner, and Kevin stepped back and extended a hand roughly, angrily, and the pain Connor felt was so immense he just wanted to fall into a sobbing mess in Kevin's arms._

_"Elder McKinley," Kevin said, so much venom in his words. I did this, Connor thought as he grasped Kevin's hand in his own in a firm, uncomfortable handshake.  
"Have a good time completing your mission, Elder Price."_

_He'll thank me one day, Connor thought as he turned back to watch Kevin through the window as the bus pulled away. The man who was actually no more than a boy had turned away from the bus, his shoulders shaking and his fist swinging at the air before he finally collapsed against the ground, cradling his face in his hands. Connor wanted nothing more than to go back to him and hold him. One day, he'll thank me, he thought again as he turned away, Chris's hand on his shoulder as tears finally slipped from his eyes before a heaving sob finally erupted from him. Chris's arms flung around his shoulders protectively. "I know it hurts now," the younger boy told him, "but I promise you'll see him again."_

Now here he was three years later, staring at Kevin Price where he stood in the third row. 

He was sweaty where he stood on the stage, his cheeks flushed and a huge smile on his face when he made eye contact with a certain Nabulungi Hatimbi, a face that he thought he would never see again. She was smiling brightly at him, he hands clapping together loudly and cheers spilling from her lips as he and his cast mates lined up beside each other on the stage, the smile on his face still wide as a tear fell down it. He felt his makeup streak but didn't care. 

They bowed, and when they came back up, his eyes shifted to see Arnold Cunningham standing beside the young woman. If it was any possible, his smile grew wider.

They lifted their hands to the booth, then down to the theatre before clasping hands and bowing once more. When coming up again, his eyes shifted once more to see Kevin Price, his hands clapping together wildly, his mouth hung open in shock and awe. 

Connor felt his face fall as he stared at Kevin, who was looking at him the same way he had the first time they had kissed in Uganda. His hair was so much longer now, darker too, and not shaved close to sides like they were when he was still that clean cut poster Mormon. His skin was paler now, too, or at least looked like it in the light. He was wearing a blue and green plaid button down, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and showing off how much wider his arms had grown since they had last seen each other. Connor felt one of his cast mates place a hand on his shoulder, and a feminine voice was right beside his ear asking if he was okay. It was Danielle -- one of the only people he had ever considered a best friend -- and Connor nodded to her, reaching up to pat her hand.

He took one last look at Kevin, who had a small smile on his face, and Danielle's eyes followed him, hitting the boy just as the curtain was about to close. The orchestra finished the curtain song and Danielle grabbed his hand as they walked off stage, more for comfort than anything else. "That was him, wasn't it?" she asked, and Connor nodded harshly as she followed him into his dressing room, thanking all the voices praising her until she shut the door.

Danielle was one of the first people Connor had met after moving to Manhattan two years ago. They had auditioned for this show together three months ago, him getting the role of the best friend of the main character, while Danielle was made a swing for the three lead female roles. He was her "man-of-honor" they liked to joke in her wedding six months ago -- her wife was a lovely woman named Kelsey, who was three years older than both of them. 

Danielle had been Connor's roommate for over a year after he moved to New York from Utah, and after getting drunk on cheap wine from the corner store down the street from their apartment, he had spilled basically his entire past to her, leaving nothing out. She knew in great detail his strict religious upbringing, about how long he had spent "turning it off." She knew about his mission and how he considered being in that too hot Ugandan village for two years the best years of his life. She knew everything about Kevin Price, about how much Connor had loved him, how much he regretted everything he did to him. 

_"I thought I had been protecting him," he told her as she eased his third glass of wine from his hand, "but I just ruined both of us."_

_She threw a blanket around his shoulders then sat beside him on the couch, leaving her own arms around him as she chuckled in his ear. "You were definitely a Mormon, Con," she joked. "What an absolute lightweight you are. And such a sad, mopey drunk, too."_

_He laughed pitifully. "You're not much better than me."_

_"True, but at least I didn't describe -- in very vivid detail, might I add -- the sounds Kelsey makes in the bedroom."_

_Connor hummed in response._

_"Or the way she looks as she quote-unquote, 'fucks me into oblivion'."_

_Another hum as Connor recalled his own drunken words, a blush on his cheeks caused more by the alcohol flowing through him than anything else. Kevin's hands in his hair, on his neck, down his thighs, pressing him down into the mattress or against a wall; Kevin's lips on his throat, on the inside of his thighs, pressing against the redhead's own to swallow the noises he made in the dark of the night; Kevin suspended above him, watching with admiration and awe as Connor's head tilted back into the pillows, exposing lines and lines of bright love marks on the pale skin of his neck, or the way his eyes always seemed to grow wide when Connor's back arched off the mattress and sinful noises poured from him before his legs wrapped tightly around Kevin's hips, urging him. . ._

_Connor shuffled the blanket to cover his lap, hoping Danielle wouldn't notice_

_"Not that you would mind much," she chuckled, pulling a laugh from him as well._

_"True," he laughed. "I really don't think I would."_

 

Danielle grabbed Connor's makeup wipes from in front of his mirror as he removed his microphone then sat on the counter, opening the package and grabbing a wipe. "Are you going to talk to him?" she asks lightly, running the wipe over his forehead and cheeks. 

"I don't know," Connor responded, closing his eyes so she could wipe the small amount of liner and mascara from his lids. She wiped the small amount of foundation and powder from his neck, pressing her thumb against the small line of freckles just below his jaw. Kevin had always used them as a target. "Do you think he wants to see me? After what I said to him?"

There was a moment of silence as Danielle grabbed a wipe to remove her own makeup. As she grabbed a second one to finish wiping off her eyes, she spoke again. "Connor, I don't know him," she said, grabbing all three wipes and dropping them in the small bin beneath the countertop, "but the way he was looking at you? I want to say he very much wants to see you and your stupid freckles." She stood up quickly and tapped his shoulder. "You change," she said as she walked toward the door. "I'll stall him."

"Don't say anything stupid?"

"I'm not making any promises."

Then the door was closed, and Connor was left with his thoughts. Did Kevin remember the things he said to him that day at the bus station? Did he forgive him? Would he understand why Connor said the things he did? _Does he still love me like I love him? Like I will always love him?_

Kevin Price was the one that got away, except he really wasn't. Connor just made the stupid mistake of taking a knife to them, sawing them in half; sawing everything he loved in half. 

He changed out of his costume slowly, careful to turn it inside out to be doused with Febreeze in case there was no time to wash it before tomorrow night's show. He checked to see if there was any chance he could sneak past Danielle and her insisting manor -- the girl probably had poor Kevin trapped in some corner like he was her prey -- but the text on his phone read that Kelsey was waiting beside the stage door in case he decided to run.

He loved Danielle, he really did, but oh how terrified he was of facing his past.

When he reached the left wing, she walked past him to the door, but not before stopping to give him a reassuring hug and a wink. "You're shaking," she said, and he smiled pathetically. 

"You wouldn't be?"

She just smiled and pressed a kiss to his cheek before walking out of the theatre, then he was left alone in the left wing, staring at the foot of the stage where Kevin Price stood facing the house. 

He was even more breathtaking up close, and Connor almost turned on his heel and left in fear. Almost.

Just as he stepped out of the wing Kevin turned toward him, and both of them did a double take. Then Kevin smiled and stepped towards him, his hands in his jean pockets. Neither one of them reached out, but Connor cleared his throat. "Hi, Elder McKinley," Kevin said, a smile on his face. "How are you?"

"Connor, please."

Kevin nodded. "Connor," he echoed, his voice like vanilla, and Connor melted. He sucked in a breath, braced himself so he wouldn't lurch forward. He knew Kevin could see it, the way he acted. He felt his own throat clog up as Kevin took more steps so he was standing right in front of Connor, so close the redhead was able to smell his cologne. 

Connor opened his mouth to speak but no sound came. He cleared his throat and looked away from Kevin, instead focusing on their shoes. "I've been good," he responded, his fingers twitching. "How about you?" 

"I've been okay."

Kevin was still smiling, and it didn't ease Connor the same way it used to. Instead, he just felt sick, because after what he did Kevin should not be smiling at him like that.

"So," the brunette said softly, looking around the theatre and giving Connor time to breathe, "I see you made it."

Connor tore his eyes away from Kevin to look around himself. The set from the final scene had been moved into the wings and replaced with the set for the beginning of the show. The house lights were still brought up, all the seats turned up about save the few broken ones in the balcony. It had always been his dream to be here, even when he tried to suppress it as a teenager. 

"I did," he said in response to Kevin, a smile on his face as he turned back to face the man in front of him, and oh my God. Kevin was watching him the way he did all those years ago in Uganda, like he was something precious. 

"You were amazing," he said, and it came out choked like he was trying not to cry. "You were so amazing, Con. I'm so happy for you, and I'm so happy Naba dragged me to this thing." Kevin took another step towards him, his hands still in his pockets but so close the tip of their shoes bumped together. He looked down and licked his lips, and it took everything in Connor not to grab him and never let go. "I don't know if it's destiny, but when I saw you walk out on this stage, there was so much going through my head," Kevin continued, his voice clearer now. "I was angry when I realized it was you -- so angry -- but then you had to go and open that stupidly pretty mouth of yours and I was just--"

Connor reached out and wrapped a hand loosely around Kevin's wrist, pulling his hand from his pocket and cutting off the words spilling from his mouth. Kevin looked up at Connor and there were tears in his eyes, just like that day at the bus stop. "I was so happy," he choked out, and Connor smiled.

"I was, too," he said.

Kevin smiled, reaching up to swipe a hand over his eyes. "It's stupid, but I never really got over you," he laughed, "even though I was pretty angry for that little stunt you pulled when you left Uganda."

Connor squeezed his wrist. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I thought it was best. I thought I was protecting you. I was about to go home, and I knew I had to go back to the way I was before, but I was wrong." Kevin took his other hand from his pocket and reached up to hold his face, and tears slipped from Connor's eyes as he closed them and leaned into the touch. "I was so wrong." 

He opened his eyes as Kevin ran his thumb along his cheek. "It wasn't your job to protect me," he mumbled. Connor nods.

"I know," he responded. "I know it wasn't but I had to, Kevin. I had to."

"You didn't."

"I missed you so much, you have no idea," Connor whispered, and Kevin dropped his hands from the boy's face and twisted his wrists to grasp the redhead's hands tightly in his own. 

"I can take a guess," he smiled, and Connor found himself laughing, tears still on his face. Kevin leaned forward, and for a moment Connor thought he was going to kiss him. Instead he leaned their foreheads together, something so small yet so intimate Connor was forced to close his eyes to avoid breaking into sobs. "Can we try again, Con?" Kevin asked, his voice a low whisper, and Connor nodded his head so fast he thought he might get whiplash. Kevin laughed and dropped his hands to instead wrap his arms tightly around Connor's waist, and the smaller boy pressed his face into the brunette's neck as his own arms moved to grasp Kevin's shoulders desperately, with no intention of letting go.

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr: [sncrlynwtms](https://sncrlynwtms.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Twitter: [baiallysa](https://twitter.com/baiallysa)


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